(Um also: those thin Uniqlo heat-tech knee socks in all the shades of grey. They are the best things.)
A Lady: Oh yes. I hoard spices I'll never use. So much saffron.
D: BUT WHAT IF YOU HAVE TO MAKE LIKE 5 GALLONS OF PAELLA?
A Lady: EXACTLY. One never knows.
Mostly I hoard vintage clothes.
D: Silk scarves.
A Lady: Ooh, yes.
D: Nivea lip balm sticks.
A Lady: Yes! I still have all this shit I never wear. And flannel sheets I don't need any longer.
D: Inexplicably: pearl necklaces. I own four. I wear zero.
A Lady: ME TOO. I even have a long grey pearl necklace. I never, ever wear it. Pearls just look wrong on me.
D: Basically we hoard pretty/tasty things.
A Lady: Even though we never ever ever use them.
D: If we have to play dress-up post-apocalype, we are SET.
A Lady: You know, some people would actually use all this crap.
D: Maybe. Then again, those people probably hoard practical things like batteries, flashlights, uh.... hand-cranked radios? The emergency survivalist things?
A Lady: Meh. Unnecessary, all of them. This is what sparkly jewelry is for!
D: Yes. If it's shiny enough, it can be used as a light source.
A Lady: No batteries required.
D: I also have a huge shelf of pickled vegetables, so in the event of total worldwide calamity, I can garnish my bloody mary while the world burns.
A Lady: We are so ready. We're intentional hoarders, ergo, it's not a disease.
D: Clearly our priorities are correct.
A Lady: Oh, we should totally hoard some smoked oysters or something, too, or else the hangover will be terrible.
D: Smoked oysters and white cheddar cheez-its!
A Lady: Ooh and reduced fat (read: saltier) wheat thins!
D: I love that shit.
A Lady: AND DIET COKE
D: Perhaps we should just invest in a salt lick.
A Lady: And baked cheetos!
(Oh god, I'm going to die so young.)
D: OMFG yes baked cheetos YES.
(Die young, leave a good-looking corpse)
A Lady: All the preservatives will preserve me too?
D: Well, if we self-embalm ourselves with salt and booze....
A Lady: Exactly.
D: It's scientifically sound.
A Lady: We are so ready. We're intentional hoarders, ergo, it's not a disease.
D: Clearly our priorities are correct.
A Lady: Oh, we should totally hoard some smoked oysters or something, too, or else the hangover will be terrible.
D: Smoked oysters and white cheddar cheez-its!
A Lady: Ooh and reduced fat (read: saltier) wheat thins!
D: I love that shit.
A Lady: AND DIET COKE
D: Perhaps we should just invest in a salt lick.
A Lady: And baked cheetos!
(Oh god, I'm going to die so young.)
D: OMFG yes baked cheetos YES.
(Die young, leave a good-looking corpse)
A Lady: All the preservatives will preserve me too?
D: Well, if we self-embalm ourselves with salt and booze....
A Lady: Exactly.
D: It's scientifically sound.
