cut-up

Did you miss us?

Well, no, probably not a whole lot, but in lieu of sending us "oh my god where have you been" valentines, you could do something sweet for A Lady! (She'd never ask you, oh internet strangers, to do this for her, so I am.)

Look, she has really pretty shoes. And I helped pick 'em out. (Coattail grasping, what?)

Please to:

go to The Cut's facebook page

like 'em

click on Snippets From The Cut

vote for her gorgeous footwear by clicking Keep It!

...and then cross your fingers that she wins the $1,000 first prize. Because you guys, a lady writing her dissertation could most certainly use some baller cash.

she's crafty

OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS THING IS GORGEOUS.

Hence the facial expression of total joy and amazement, obviously.

A Lady blogged it far better over here, but the short version is that she just saved me like $300, I have a gorgeous new leather bag, and my coworkers were amused by the reverberating squeeees of joy coming out of my office this afternoon when the bag arrived. I think the little dance I did down the hall (there may have been skipping involved) was more befuddling than amusing, but that's not the point.

domestic

You guys, A Lady is making me breakfast right now, and I am wearing a pair of her fuzzy slippers.
Yes, awesome.

ladylike

Now I shall, in my unprofessional capacity, introduce you all to A Lady. The Abridged Biography goes as such:

A Lady is smarter than you are, and craftier. (Behold: the reupholstered leather couch! Behold: the DIY dress!) She also has hooked me onto baked Cheetos and this lentil-avocado-greek yogurt salad thing she makes, and convinced me to watch the beyond-awful-into-hilarity Star Trek: The Voyage Home. ("But the whales! They'll drown!")*
If I am sending drunken text messages at 3:00 am, odds are that A Lady is the recipient. This is probably not very convenient for her, as she's one hour ahead of me in eastern time. Also, she has fantastically excellent hair.

*Further excerpts from our gchat during this movie:

D: OH GOD SPOCK JUST PUT ON THE HEADBAND

A Lady: KARATE SPOCK

D: Is that JIM BELUSHI IN THIS MOVIE? Oh wait no, just a random fat guy
THERE BE WHALES HERE!

A Lady: IT'S LIKE MOBY DICK. IN SPACE.
WITH SPOCK.

Tragically, we have never met. I know. Wrongful, isn't it? In fact, I have no idea what A Lady's voice even sounds like, as our friendship has taken place between blogs and emails and gchat and drunken texts. How very 21st century of us, isn't it? But we swear- we promise! we vow!- that at some point soon we are going to meet up, drink too much scotch (mmmm, scotch), swap trashy novels from the summer reading piles, and compliment each others' shoes. You, dear readers, shall be the virtual witnesses to this quest! But for now: we're going to settle in with our respective cocktails, talk shit about Ayn Rand, and continue to bookmark things that create great joy when purchasing, and great sorrow when checking one's bank account balance.

Go be a dear and freshen up my drink, would you?