prefatory posturing

Our warm-up round before last week's Seamless viewing:

D: Ok, glass of bourbon in hand, Netflix open.

A Lady: K, let me pull up the moooovie

Oops just typed in "samless"

D: Hee

A Lady: (The new Kate Winslet vehicle.)

(HAR)

D: (Sean Penn's career minus one movie.)

A Lady: Oh god I can't. That last one finished it.

Oh wait.

(One Boring Summer.)

D: You win. My brain is too tired to pun.

A Lady: Firefox did not appreciate my wit: everything crashed.

D: Judgey bastard.

la belle dame avec bourbon

Okayokay, my turn. Readers, meet D. You might also know her as Nadarine. For Vicious intents and purposes, we'll call her D. D is fan-fucking-tabulous. She bikes in Potentially Inappropriate Outfits and doesn't give a damn. She knows how to wield a jigsaw (swoon). Her obsession with bacon occasionally concerns vegetarian me, but less for ethical and more for "I want to eat that stoppit" reasons. She fashions chandeliers, ginsicles, and stores her shoes more elegantly than you do. D introduced me to Mint.com and all its attendant guilt, viz., "Mint.com can be a cruel, cruel tyrant. But I DO love that it has a line item for weekly bar spending on my budget and does this without judging me." If you need someone to help you find a more discreet term for "drunk," D's your girl. She lets me harass her constantly, not minding when I text her at all hours about girl woes, girl triumphs, scale crises, and spending malaise.

Maybe, if we're very clever, we can persuade her to come visit me in Philthy. Or, at best, to meet up in New York and run riot. Shouldn't be too hard, no?

ladylike

Now I shall, in my unprofessional capacity, introduce you all to A Lady. The Abridged Biography goes as such:

A Lady is smarter than you are, and craftier. (Behold: the reupholstered leather couch! Behold: the DIY dress!) She also has hooked me onto baked Cheetos and this lentil-avocado-greek yogurt salad thing she makes, and convinced me to watch the beyond-awful-into-hilarity Star Trek: The Voyage Home. ("But the whales! They'll drown!")*
If I am sending drunken text messages at 3:00 am, odds are that A Lady is the recipient. This is probably not very convenient for her, as she's one hour ahead of me in eastern time. Also, she has fantastically excellent hair.

*Further excerpts from our gchat during this movie:

D: OH GOD SPOCK JUST PUT ON THE HEADBAND

A Lady: KARATE SPOCK

D: Is that JIM BELUSHI IN THIS MOVIE? Oh wait no, just a random fat guy
THERE BE WHALES HERE!

A Lady: IT'S LIKE MOBY DICK. IN SPACE.
WITH SPOCK.

Tragically, we have never met. I know. Wrongful, isn't it? In fact, I have no idea what A Lady's voice even sounds like, as our friendship has taken place between blogs and emails and gchat and drunken texts. How very 21st century of us, isn't it? But we swear- we promise! we vow!- that at some point soon we are going to meet up, drink too much scotch (mmmm, scotch), swap trashy novels from the summer reading piles, and compliment each others' shoes. You, dear readers, shall be the virtual witnesses to this quest! But for now: we're going to settle in with our respective cocktails, talk shit about Ayn Rand, and continue to bookmark things that create great joy when purchasing, and great sorrow when checking one's bank account balance.

Go be a dear and freshen up my drink, would you?

without further ado

Why, hello there.
You know what is delicious? Cocktails. Also, gossiping while watching bad movies. And popsicles. Definitely popsicles. Oooh, and nice lipsticks. This is essentially a compilation of Stuff We Like A Whole Lot: tasty, snarky, shiny. Cheers, darlings.