cawfee

(amid a discussion of just exactly how dehydrated I am):

A Lady: HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?

D: I ask myself that a lot.
Good strong German genes?

A Lady: Uh huh.
No healthy adult should drink as much pedialyte as you do.

D: Hey, I have not had pedialyte in LONG TIME. (That doesn't mean I didn't necessarily NEED it, but...)

A Lady: The bodega probably thinks you have a toddler secreted away at home.

D: Oh, they know it's for me. I start drinking it before I leave the store. For those times when I am SERIOUS about rehydration.

A Lady: .

D: AT LEAST I AM REHYDRATING.

A Lady: .

(part of this complete breakfast)

cut-up

Did you miss us?

Well, no, probably not a whole lot, but in lieu of sending us "oh my god where have you been" valentines, you could do something sweet for A Lady! (She'd never ask you, oh internet strangers, to do this for her, so I am.)

Look, she has really pretty shoes. And I helped pick 'em out. (Coattail grasping, what?)

Please to:

go to The Cut's facebook page

like 'em

click on Snippets From The Cut

vote for her gorgeous footwear by clicking Keep It!

...and then cross your fingers that she wins the $1,000 first prize. Because you guys, a lady writing her dissertation could most certainly use some baller cash.