10.04.2010

haterade

We hate lots of things. Flaked coconut (D), sweet/savory combinations (A Lady), coffee shops that don't provide free wifi, inexplicable public transit delays, having to explain our love of trashy television shows to those who doubt the necessity of brain-fluff entertainment. Also, I fucking hate ruffles.


A Lady: Ok, D, explain this hatred of ruffles, please.

D: I have never been a ruffly person, but all those ruffle-front things of late enrage me.

A Lady: Me neither, but the rage? I don't get the rage.

D: They just look infantile. Why must retailers take a perfectly good sleeveless shirt and puke up some needlessly involved decoration on it?

A Lady: Oh, well, that, yes.

D: Or this!
They are EVERYWHERE.

A Lady: See, I don't mind the second one.

D: Every time I want to just buy a goddamn plain cotton/silk shell, it's been attacked by accoutrements. Ruffles make me angry, I think, because I see them and mentally snap "dress like a damn adult, not like you're wearing a Formal Bib.”

A Lady: That frustration is understandable, BUT: what about Lanvin?
Do we hate Alber?

D: I'm sure he could make a ruffle that I liked. But I’d be contrary and call it a "pleat detail".

A Lady: See, for me it's a question of degree. One little pathetic cotton jersey ruffle? NO. But lots and lots of silk ruffles? OH YES.

D: All the damn shells/t-shirts I see for sale have some sort of superfluous appliqué/ruffle. Perhaps repeated exposure has induced an allergy.
Or whatever the quackish medical explanation for that would be.

A Lady: Appliqué I cannot stand. Ever.

D: Thank you. It's not a damn "trompe l'oeil" shirt when you just sew some gauze and beads drooping off the neckline. It's just lazy.

A Lady: EW NO. See, that's what I was talking about: cotton jersey.

D: Make it stoooooooooop!
Hmmmmmmmmmm. Maybe it's the Boobs Issue.

A Lady: Yes, like Mary Poppins or something.

D: And I have a weird torso anyway, so my hatred of ruffles might actually be an unconscious aversion to looking like Mary Poppins.

A Lady: Which is totally understandable.

D: I really should click away from J Crew before I murder someone. RAGE!

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