judgment day

A Lady: Sartorial irks, part the second: flimsy suiting. I just don't understand.
Is it because it's ill-fitting? Is it because it's ill-fitting AND made with cheap fabric?

D: It’s because it hangs so poorly.

A Lady: Is tailoring really so painful?

D: Sigh. Everyone should have a tailor. It’s nonnegotiable.

A Lady: I feel like there should be a rule that if you're going to buy a flimsy suit, you should be made to buy it too tight.

D: Precisely. Like a state tax. A "sin tax", in its way.
Oh god, pet sartorial peeve: when people don't cut the stitch that holds the vent closed after they buy a jacket/skirt/whatever. I want to run around with tiny scissors and snip them. I see it EVERY DAY.

A Lady: Oh god. Yes.

D: Shudder.

A Lady: Also, women who don't re-heel their heels.

D: COBBLERS ARE YOUR FRIEND. Your best friend.

A Lady: Screw-tips are not left exposed for a reason; new taps are not expensive.

D: I have lost count of how many times per year I re-heel my shoes. It's so worth it.

A Lady: Re-heel: you will not slip and fall and kill yourself, and you will not annoy me.

D: Confession: I may be guilty of a lesser version of the suits + backpacks felony. Perhaps a misdemeanor?

A Lady: Nooooooooooooo. Oh god, that shit makes me crazy.

D: …because I do sling my messenger bag with me to work each day.
BUT ONLY WHEN BIKING I SWEAR. And only when a large purse CANNOT be carried. If I’m taking the train? I’m carrying a purse/tote. I promise. But if I’m biking? It’s work dress, heels, messenger bag.

A Lady: Do you immediately take off the messenger bag and put said bag carrying your purse in your purse upon dismounting?

D: Yes. That messenger bag exists only while on the bike.

A Lady: Okay, that's allowed. I've done that too.
I just see grown-ass people on the train, on the street, without bike, with backpacks. It makes me want to scream.

D: Whew. I feel exonerated. Plus, I am wearing a helmet at the point, so I feel like I get a half-pass.

A Lady: Do we even need to mention the tennis shoes/businesswear thing? I feel like Working Girl pretty much said anything that needs to be said, even though people still do it.

D: No. No no no. WHY? Seriously, just put on flats. You can buy them at Target. At Payless. Hell, I do.

A Lady: And even if you have a foot problem, it's totally possible to get an orthopedically AND visually-friendly flat.

D: If necessary, leave your heels in the office. I don't quite get that- why buy shoes you can't walk in?- but I suppose it's an option. BE A GROWN-UP. LOOK LIKE A GROWN-UP.

A Lady: That too. Why do people buy heels they can't use??

D: Because people, dear, are bloody ignorant apes.
Hell, I think half the reason people take me seriously in any professional situation is merely because I am dressed like a grown-up. At least a little bit.

Um on that note: because I am currently wearing dirty jeans and a black t-shirt that is a different shade of black than the cardigan i have over it. Oops. Whatevs, it was work-at-home day.

A Lady: Er, I was about to say…
The irony is that I'm bitching about sartorial pet peeves while wearing, er, cutoff sweatpants and an old v-neck, grey socks, and pigtails.

D: HA. Pigtails, ditto.
BUT WE ARE NOT IN PUBLIC. WE HAVE STANDARDS.

A Lady: AND WE ARE NOT WORKING.

D: WE ARE SITTING AT HOME. It’s different.